Like all great politicians, Brian Salmi knows how to get attention.

Salmi is the leader of Canada’s Rhino Party, and for years, has been relentlessly shaking up the boring-as-all-hell political scene in Canada.

To get an idea of his work, I suggest you check out this link before reading on:
http://www.briangodzillasalmi.com/newsclips.pdf

Recently, Salmi (who had his name legally changed to Sa Tan) brought his circus to the Lakehead Board of Education in Thunder Bay in the form of a petition. His goal: to change the name of Agnew H. Johnston Public School to Brian Salmi Public School.

The Board of Education is reluctant to make the change. The school was named in honour of Reverend Agnew H. Johnston who was a former trustee, an RCAF Chaplain in World War II, moderator of the Presbytery of Superior and two time nominee for the position of Moderator of the general assembly of the Presbyterian Church of Canada.
Brian Slami, on the other hand, is best known for dressing in a Godzilla costume and causing public spectacles.

Nevertheless, Salmi himself says he feels a connection to Johnston. He grew up in Thunder Bay and attended the school as a young shit disturber. Also, Agnew Johnston married Salmi’s parents. Small world.

I had the opportunity to talk to Slami recently in an exclusive interview to the Zany Zany World.

Here’s some of our conversation.


RD: Is your legal name really ‘Sa Tan’?

BS: Yea. It’s illegal to have a one-word name in Canada, so I had to break it up. I’ve confused a hell of a lot of people when they look at me and say, “You really don’t look Chinese, dude.”

RD: Does your license say ‘Sa Tan’ on it?

BS: It does indeed. On all my I.Ds, my bank accounts, everything. Sa Tan has been my legal name for 13 years now. It’s provided me with a number of incredible opportunities to understand more about human and social psychology.

RD: When you get pulled over for speeding and you hand your license over to the cops, what sort of reaction do you get?

BS: I don’t get pulled over for speeding.

RD: Oh!

BS: I’ve had a lot of run-ins with authorities who I have gleefully told that my name was Sa Tan, and they have always said something to the effect of: “Yea, don’t give me that shit. I’ll lock you up.” To which I gleefully say, “Lock me up, dude. I’ve been there before. You ready for a false arrest charge?” And then I produce they I.D and tell them a number of different stories on how the name came to be.

RD: Hey Brian. You’ve started a petition to rename Agnew Johnston School. Why?

BS: Well there are a number of reasons for it. I think as a society we really have to start paying tribute to people who go outside the norm. People who are weird. People who are freaks. I think this is something that should be celebrated and our society is far too anal retentive when it comes to honouring people for what they’ve accomplished over the course of their lives. We don’t have to keep naming school and streets after politicians and clergy. There’s no reason why people like Howard Stern or P.T. Barnum or Johnny Rotten or Steve Fonyo or even me shouldn’t have public monuments named after them.



RD: What’s your fondest memory of your time at Agnew Johnston?

BS: I actually write about this in my book. Me and my small rabble of friends would always be the last ones off the playground. We would let the rest of the kids march into the school and then be right on their tails so we’d get an extra five minutes of play. This was something that bothered a large of number of teachers immensely and they brought it up with the principal. I went and saw the principal and he told me that it couldn’t go on any longer because all the other kids will want to do it to. I pointed out to him that that was preposterous and told him the other kids were just a bunch of sheep and that my posse and I have never missed one second of whatever nonsense they were trying to jam into our heads at that early age. We eventually struck a compromise that if I were to ensure that if me and my posse were always the last ones through the door, but there was no lag time in there, then we’d be allowed to continue on. It was an interesting bargain struck myself, being 11 years old at the time, and the principal of the school.

RD: How legitimate are your chances to get Agnew Johnston turned into Brian Salmi School?

BS: All things are possible. (Laughs) Absolutely all things are possible in this world.

RD: Let’s say this campaign gains momentum and you receive 5,000 actual signatures to your petition. You present it to the Lakehead Board of Education and they flat out say no. What are you going to do then?

BS: Well there are a number of options. I might be tempted to move back permanently…and…you know, I can’t remember. Is the board of education appointed by the provincial government in Ontario or is it elected?

RD: School trustees are elected.

BS: They’re elected!?

RD: Yep.

BS: Well then I might just run for school trustee. I’ve stood for office close to a dozen times already. I’ve got a hell of a lot of campaigning experience. So that lies within the realm of possibilities. Or if I sell so many copies of my new book, I might just get filthy rich and buy myself a slate and have them run solely on this platform. (Laughs)

RD: (Laughs) Or you could start your own school board.

BS: YES! If I make enough money, I could buy Agnew Johnston from them and start my own private school for little freaks and miscreants of Thunder Bay to send their children to.

RD: I wish I had gone to that school.

BS: Me too.

RD: Where did this idea come from? Were you just sitting around one night and had a eureka-like moment and decided you’re going to start a petition to have your former school renamed after yourself?

BS: No. It was originally schemed up as a promotional campaign for my new book. I’ve recently published an e-book, and being the clever marketer that I am, I was looking for an angle to make my book newsworthy in Thunder Bay. It’s a P.T. Barnum play all the way.

RD: Let’s talk about your book. Where can people find it?

BS: At www.briangodzillasalmi.com. The name of the book is Booze Up and Riot: a freewheeling fire-breathing manifesto of funarchy and filth. I’m promoting the book as the second coming of gonzo journalism. Any Hunter S. Thompson fans out there will feel right at home in the mountain of word filth that I’ve created.

RD: Brian, thanks for your time.

BS: Thank you.


EDITORS NOTE: There’s a Steve Fonyo Drive in Kingston, ON and Fonyo Road in Prince Albert, SK. As well, Victoria, BC is home to Steve Fonyo Beach.


RELATED LINKS:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party
http://www.petitiononline.com/BSschool/petition.html
http://www.briangodzillasalmi.com