This gem comes courtesy of the Associated Press.

An Australian woman was killed by a pet camel given to her as a 60th birthday present after the animal apparently tried to have sex, police said Sunday.

The woman, whose name was not released, was killed Saturday at her family's sheep and cattle ranch near Mitchell, 600 kilometres west of the Queensland state capital Brisbane, state police Detective Senior Constable Craig Gregory said.

The 10-month-old male camel - weighing about 150 kilograms - knocked the woman to the ground, lay on top of her, then exhibited what police suspect was mating behaviour, Gregory said.

"I'd say it's probably been playing, or it may be even a sexual sort of thing," Gregory said, adding the camel almost suffocated the family's pet goat by straddling it on several occasions.



Camel expert Chris Hill said he had no doubt the camel's behaviour was sexual.

Hill, who has offered camel rides to tourists for 20 years, said young camels are not aggressive, but can be dangerous if treated as pets without discipline.

The fate of the camel was not known.

The woman was given the camel in March as a birthday present from her husband and daughter. "She had a love of exotic pets," Gregory said.

Daughter: "Happy Birthday mom!"
Mother: "Wow! Just what I wanted: a horny camel."
Daughter: "We were going to get you jaded hippo, but the pet store was all out."
Mother: "That's okay. I'll settle."
Camel: "EEEEEEEaaaawwwwWWWWWW!" (I'm assuming that's what a camel sounds like.)
Daughter: "Uh oh!"

Actor Stephen Baldwin to endorse Brownback

ABC News' Julia Bain reports: Actor Stephen Baldwin tells ABC News that he is ready to endorse Sam Brownback's presidential bid, following the Kansas senator's speech at the Iowa Straw Poll Saturday. Baldwin said that after listening to all the speeches and doing "his homework" he decided to throw his support to Brownback.

Baldwin, who says that his vote is "spiritually motivated," told ABC, "I think what America needs more than anything is a leader who's honest, who's truly a man of faith, and who allows that faith to make his decisions with his common good sense; and I think that's Sam Brownback."

RD: To comment on Baldwin's endorsement, here's the Zany Zany World's American politics columnist Dick Chesterton. And remember, everything Dick says has been well thought out.

Following speeches given last weekend at the Iowa Ames Straw Poll, political genius Stephen Baldwin gave a nod of support to Presidential non-contender Sam Brownback.

When asked why he is supporting the Senator from Kansas Mr. Baldwin replied, "Uh, is this on?"



The 'actor' has starred in the following critically acclaimed films:

1988 - The Beast
1989 - The Young Riders
1989 - Last Exit to Brooklyn
1989 - Born on the Fourth of July
1992 - Crossing the Bridge
1993 - Posse
1994 - A Simple Twist of Fate
1994 - 8 Seconds
1994 - Threesome
1994 - Mrs. Parker and the Vicious Circle
1995 - The Usual Suspects
1996 - Bio-Dome
1996 - Fled
1996 - Crimetime
1998 - Half Baked
1998 - One Tough Cop
1998 - Scarred City
1999 - Absence of the Good
1999 - The Sex Monster
1999 - Friends & Lovers
2000 - Cutaway
2000 - The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas
2001 - Spider’s Web
2001 - Dead Awake
2001 - XChange
2001 - Zebra Lounge
2001 - Protection
2002 - Silent Warnings
2002 - Greenmail
2002 - Slap Shot 2: Breaking the Ice
2003 - Celebrity Mole Hawaii (TV Series)
2003 - Scare Tactics (TV series)
2003 - Firefight
2003 - Shelter Island
2004 - Celebrity Mole Yucatan (TV Series)
2004 - Six: The Mark Unleashed
2004 - Livin' It (DVD)
2004 - Target
2005 - Bound by Lies
2005 - The Snake King
2006 - The Flyboys
2006 - The Genius Club
2006 - Livin' It LA (DVD)
2006 - Dark Storm (TV - SciFi Channel)
2006 - Earthstorm (TV - SciFi Channel)
2007 - Stan Lee's The Harpies

It is yet unclear as to why anybody would cares what Stephen Baldwin thinks.

RD: Thank's for that, Dick. And by the way, I'm still disappointed the academy didn't recognize Baldwin for his brilliant performance in The Sex Monster.

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

Just ask Russel Angus.

You probably haven’t heard his story yet, mainly because it’s a little too zany for mainstream media. But here at the ZZW, Angus is a champion, and we feel his story is…well…about as zany as you get.

Here’s his story as told by Jeremy Olson of the St. Paul Pioneer Press:

A St. Paul man is refusing to tell authorities who performed a botched castration on him in late July at his home and left him bleeding in a makeshift operating room.

City police instead are using forensic leads such as fingerprints and computer records to track down the unlicensed "professionals" in this case, which while unusual is not unprecedented.

A few high-profile arrests have occurred in the past decade of people who performed unlicensed castration procedures on themselves and others, particularly on people who are transgender.

"It is oftentimes a very desperate move by people who don't feel that they can find access to appropriate medical treatment and care," said Eli Coleman, director of the University of Minnesota's Program in Human Sexuality.

So far, police have no evidence that sexuality or gender issues were involved in the decision by 62-year-old Russell Angus to have his testicles removed. He apparently had complained of severe pain in his groin, but police said he had been unable to find licensed doctors who would perform the procedure.



So he hired two or three people to operate on him July 28 in his East Side home. He was unconscious during the procedure but awoke alone to find his testicles were removed and his groin was bleeding. Angus was taken by ambulance to Regions Hospital in St. Paul for treatment after he called his daughter for help.

Angus did not respond to a message. His daughter declined comment.

On July 28, paramedics and police found Angus upstairs in his home, according to court documents. There were bright lights, an operating table, medical supplies and a camera. Neither Angus nor his wife, Anna, would provide information about the people who performed the procedure. Angus' daughter asked police not to search the house.

After obtaining a search warrant, police seized medical supplies, trash, books, videos and other items. They also seized Angus' computer with the assumption he used the Internet to research or find people willing to perform the procedure, according to court documents.

No arrests have been made, police spokesman Tom Walsh said Tuesday, and Angus still won't identify who did the procedure.

Russel Angus did not return any calls to Zany Zany World staff. However, if he did choose to comment publicly, here are some questions that would have been brought up:

- Are you a masochist?
- How much did you pay for the operation?
- Where are your testicles now? Do you get to keep them?
- What did you use as an anaesthetic?
- What have you learned?
- Will you accept an offer to become the Chief Medial Officer to the Zany Zany World?

But don’t worry. I’m not mad. I can understand your reluctance to comment publicly on the issue. But on behalf of friends and family of the ZZW, I’d like to thank you for going above and beyond the call of duty, just so I can blog about you.

I owe you one.

Like all great politicians, Brian Salmi knows how to get attention.

Salmi is the leader of Canada’s Rhino Party, and for years, has been relentlessly shaking up the boring-as-all-hell political scene in Canada.

To get an idea of his work, I suggest you check out this link before reading on:
http://www.briangodzillasalmi.com/newsclips.pdf

Recently, Salmi (who had his name legally changed to Sa Tan) brought his circus to the Lakehead Board of Education in Thunder Bay in the form of a petition. His goal: to change the name of Agnew H. Johnston Public School to Brian Salmi Public School.

The Board of Education is reluctant to make the change. The school was named in honour of Reverend Agnew H. Johnston who was a former trustee, an RCAF Chaplain in World War II, moderator of the Presbytery of Superior and two time nominee for the position of Moderator of the general assembly of the Presbyterian Church of Canada.
Brian Slami, on the other hand, is best known for dressing in a Godzilla costume and causing public spectacles.

Nevertheless, Salmi himself says he feels a connection to Johnston. He grew up in Thunder Bay and attended the school as a young shit disturber. Also, Agnew Johnston married Salmi’s parents. Small world.

I had the opportunity to talk to Slami recently in an exclusive interview to the Zany Zany World.

Here’s some of our conversation.


RD: Is your legal name really ‘Sa Tan’?

BS: Yea. It’s illegal to have a one-word name in Canada, so I had to break it up. I’ve confused a hell of a lot of people when they look at me and say, “You really don’t look Chinese, dude.”

RD: Does your license say ‘Sa Tan’ on it?

BS: It does indeed. On all my I.Ds, my bank accounts, everything. Sa Tan has been my legal name for 13 years now. It’s provided me with a number of incredible opportunities to understand more about human and social psychology.

RD: When you get pulled over for speeding and you hand your license over to the cops, what sort of reaction do you get?

BS: I don’t get pulled over for speeding.

RD: Oh!

BS: I’ve had a lot of run-ins with authorities who I have gleefully told that my name was Sa Tan, and they have always said something to the effect of: “Yea, don’t give me that shit. I’ll lock you up.” To which I gleefully say, “Lock me up, dude. I’ve been there before. You ready for a false arrest charge?” And then I produce they I.D and tell them a number of different stories on how the name came to be.

RD: Hey Brian. You’ve started a petition to rename Agnew Johnston School. Why?

BS: Well there are a number of reasons for it. I think as a society we really have to start paying tribute to people who go outside the norm. People who are weird. People who are freaks. I think this is something that should be celebrated and our society is far too anal retentive when it comes to honouring people for what they’ve accomplished over the course of their lives. We don’t have to keep naming school and streets after politicians and clergy. There’s no reason why people like Howard Stern or P.T. Barnum or Johnny Rotten or Steve Fonyo or even me shouldn’t have public monuments named after them.



RD: What’s your fondest memory of your time at Agnew Johnston?

BS: I actually write about this in my book. Me and my small rabble of friends would always be the last ones off the playground. We would let the rest of the kids march into the school and then be right on their tails so we’d get an extra five minutes of play. This was something that bothered a large of number of teachers immensely and they brought it up with the principal. I went and saw the principal and he told me that it couldn’t go on any longer because all the other kids will want to do it to. I pointed out to him that that was preposterous and told him the other kids were just a bunch of sheep and that my posse and I have never missed one second of whatever nonsense they were trying to jam into our heads at that early age. We eventually struck a compromise that if I were to ensure that if me and my posse were always the last ones through the door, but there was no lag time in there, then we’d be allowed to continue on. It was an interesting bargain struck myself, being 11 years old at the time, and the principal of the school.

RD: How legitimate are your chances to get Agnew Johnston turned into Brian Salmi School?

BS: All things are possible. (Laughs) Absolutely all things are possible in this world.

RD: Let’s say this campaign gains momentum and you receive 5,000 actual signatures to your petition. You present it to the Lakehead Board of Education and they flat out say no. What are you going to do then?

BS: Well there are a number of options. I might be tempted to move back permanently…and…you know, I can’t remember. Is the board of education appointed by the provincial government in Ontario or is it elected?

RD: School trustees are elected.

BS: They’re elected!?

RD: Yep.

BS: Well then I might just run for school trustee. I’ve stood for office close to a dozen times already. I’ve got a hell of a lot of campaigning experience. So that lies within the realm of possibilities. Or if I sell so many copies of my new book, I might just get filthy rich and buy myself a slate and have them run solely on this platform. (Laughs)

RD: (Laughs) Or you could start your own school board.

BS: YES! If I make enough money, I could buy Agnew Johnston from them and start my own private school for little freaks and miscreants of Thunder Bay to send their children to.

RD: I wish I had gone to that school.

BS: Me too.

RD: Where did this idea come from? Were you just sitting around one night and had a eureka-like moment and decided you’re going to start a petition to have your former school renamed after yourself?

BS: No. It was originally schemed up as a promotional campaign for my new book. I’ve recently published an e-book, and being the clever marketer that I am, I was looking for an angle to make my book newsworthy in Thunder Bay. It’s a P.T. Barnum play all the way.

RD: Let’s talk about your book. Where can people find it?

BS: At www.briangodzillasalmi.com. The name of the book is Booze Up and Riot: a freewheeling fire-breathing manifesto of funarchy and filth. I’m promoting the book as the second coming of gonzo journalism. Any Hunter S. Thompson fans out there will feel right at home in the mountain of word filth that I’ve created.

RD: Brian, thanks for your time.

BS: Thank you.


EDITORS NOTE: There’s a Steve Fonyo Drive in Kingston, ON and Fonyo Road in Prince Albert, SK. As well, Victoria, BC is home to Steve Fonyo Beach.


RELATED LINKS:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhinoceros_Party
http://www.petitiononline.com/BSschool/petition.html
http://www.briangodzillasalmi.com