Let me tell you about my day so far.

I woke up at around noon from a vigorous sleep that began around 2:30 am. I went down to my computer in order to check the message board of my cartel. There was only message. It was from a coworker of mine named Joey Scum. It said that he had been jumped by a thug named Spliff Star.

This upset me deeply. The first thing I did was take a subway over to Downsview with the intention of jumping Spliff Star myself. He wasn’t there. Not to be discouraged, I hoped on the next subway going to Fairview Mall. There he was at the station. I jumped him good. I acquired $423,742, as well 8 junkies and 7 square feet of lab space off him in the battle. Consider it reparations of war. But not all was won. In the battle, I lost 450 guns and 455 vests; however, I destroyed 477 guns and 472 vests from your enemy.

Once my encounter with Spliff Star was over, I got on the next available subway over to York University. From my previous day at work, I still had 80,000 units of ecstasy, 45,000 units of heroin, and 32,000 units of special K in my trench coat.

As soon as I got to the university, I was pleasantly informed that the addicts were paying an unprecedented $35 per unit of special K. The laws of supply and demand suggest that I sell all my units at once. A price as sky high as that is very rare. I got rid off all my units to dirty students and made a cool $1,575,000 in the process. A great way to start off the day to say the least.

As I was leaving the university, it came to my attention that pot was dirt cheap. Usually, Pot goes for about $27 or $28 a unit. But on this day, it was selling for $24 a unit. I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to buy up all the cheap pot I could, so I purchased 96,000 units. This put me back $2,304,000. That figure may seem astronomical to some petty dealers, but you’re talking to Mr. Monopoly here, the king of the dopewars.

Immediately after my purchase, I got a message on my cell phone from an old friend, Mayor O.D. McCrack. He told me that E is selling like hot cakes over at Ontario Place. He told me to get over there ASAP. I used up my remaining subway tokens and got over there as fast as humanly possible.

Just as I got off the train, I was jumped by some bitch named Duval. I heard through the grapevine that Duval was in the same cartel as Spliff Star. Nonetheless, things didn’t really go his way. As I stepped off the train, he shot me in the back. This was a bad move on his part because I wear vests all day long. I played possum with for a while. I went down and pretended that he got me. When he leaned over me to see if I was dead, I shot him right in the mouth 11 times. I waxed the mother fucker. He managed to get nothing off me, but I punked the majority of his guns off him.

This whole event set me back a few minutes, and in the world of drugs, time is always of the essence. Luckily though, the tourists at Ontario Place were still paying top dollar for the Ecstasy. I got rid of all 80,000 units within 2 hours. It was selling for around $33 a unit, so I made a cool $2,640,000. Once I got rid of all those pills, the Mayor and I decided to call it a day. We went to the Ponderosa steak house for dinner, and then went to the movies.

I got home about 20 minutes ago. I figures I’d tell you all about my day because I have nothing else to do and I’ll probably be up for a while: I just put back a few hits of LSD.
Have a great night.